Cogito: Discourses of Inner Reflection

Words, Phrases, or Songs Getting Stuck in My Head

2010-08-03T03:09:00.002-06:00

Unter einen gescheiden
Ichabod Shish Kabob
Pejorative
The Llama song (esp. I think I will retire now and become a duck)
Peter, Peter. Pumpkin Eater.
London Bridges (children's song)

English

2009-09-29T22:45:00.001-06:00

Thief
Thieves

Chief of Staff
Chiefs of Staff

why not Chieves of Staff?

besides the fact that English is messed up.

2009-06-16T14:03:00.000-06:00

my last day being 22. hmm.

Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang, I love you.

2009-05-02T00:32:00.001-06:00

Many of you had the wonderful opportunity to become acquainted with Black Beauty. Now, I am not referring to Anna Sewell’s Black Beauty, but rather my car so named by Corey Smith (of the late Apt. 41, I think).

I regret to inform you that Black Beauty, car to Maria of Dakota, died at 10:23 one evening.

Here is the story: (if you would like the truncated version, skip to the end.)

It was a quite, albeit restless night. The stars shone high, the moon vibrant. The indigenous and the foreigner traversed their way across their collectively mundane lives. To and fro cars sped by. In a condo, on the north side of town, a solitary figure gathers her Drivers license, credit card, and hotel key card. She reached for her car keys before she went out the door, turned and locked the French handle. Walking only a short distance to her vehicle, she slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine. The roar was instantaneously heard. Should there be one passing by utilizing a service dog, they would be prone to believe that the vehicle was indeed a diesel truck.

The woman drove the car a minute distance to the connivance store down the road. There she filled the tank with gas, the reservoir with coolant, and check the status of the oil. All in order, Maria continued on her drive. Easing onto the ribbon known as I-29, the car easily accelerated to 67 miles per hour. Keeping a watchful eye upon the control/ information panel, she drove 20 minutes to the Comfort Inn in Sioux City. Puttering up to the stop light she frantically thought she would not make it.

The light turned green. She slowly made the right hand turn. Grasping and pulling for all her strength, she rounded to the left into the parking lot. Smoke was billowing. Carefully, she parked the car. Turned it off. Whispered a prayer of gratitude. Then she quickly got out and went into the building… trying desperately to avoid any implication of mortification as possible. It was 10:23 PM.

She worked the Night Audit shift at the hotel, accomplishing many tasks, but there was the looming thought of what she would do in the morning as she was now without a car in proper working order. Slowly the hours ticked by. One, two, three A.M. Finally, her front desk agent, Larry, came in at 9:00 am for his shift. Unfortunately, she still could not focus on her impending predicament. Two newly hired housekeepers were to begin that day.

Curly and Moe were fairly prompt in their arrival for their first day on the job. Set to task immediately, Maria instructed the individuals on how to clock in with their issued badge numbers at the property’s time clock. Then the stocking of the cart was rendered in implicit fashion. Next came the inordinate task of training in proper technique of cleaning guest rooms.

Curly and Moe followed Maria into the first guest room, 128. Starting with the bathroom and moving onto the main part of the room, each facet was covered and the importance of extreme cleanliness stressed. Upon the onslaught of bed making tuition, Moe walked out of the room mid-sentence to retrieve a garbage bag for the room. This raised a flag of concern in the manager’s mind.

After the instruction, Maria left Curly and Moe with the notion that should there be any questions, she would just be a few doors down in her office. Maria shut the door and called her father to seek advice on how to move forward with her car. She was told that it would be the best case scenario to have her uncle take a look at it. Her dear mother called her brother, who said he would rearrange his plans and headed south immediately to check out the problem. Meanwhile, Maria researched rental car options in between helping guests and Larry with miscellaneous problems.

Around 11 AM, Merlon, Maria’s uncle, came. He looked at the car to discover that part of the water-thingy was missing causing any coolant to be put in the car to be evaporated within five minutes. A discussion ensued as to the particulars of how the car was acting before the final smoke out. Logical deduction decreed the car was utterly dead.

Although not a solitary tear fell, the loss of such a fond car was felt. Up against a time deadline, as the place was closing at noon, Maria called Enterprise Rent a Car, home of the “We’ll pick you up.” Slogan. She was told that there was a car to her taste available for $17.95 a day (plus a 15.00/day under age fee). She was picked up at a quarter to noon by a disheveled looking driver with a ketchup stain down his tattered shirt. He drove willy nilly down the road, slightly under the speed limit. The most thinkable indirect route was his course. Through neighborhoods, around businesses, etc. it took 25 minutes to arrive at the destination.

Once inside, the sales man asked if Maria had liked the car she was picked up in. As it was a PT Cruiser, she adamantly, albeit politely, stated that she did not. The gentleman stated that they did not have the car so promised on the phone, but they had another for $40.00 a day that was still available. Genially, Maria smiled and stated that since she had been promised a certain car and it was not there when she arrived, it was only fair that she ought to have the $40.00 car for the $17.95 a day. Upon which it was eventually agreed.

Happily, Maria got into the sleek, black 2008 Nissan Altima with the push button start. She drove down one street and then hit the interstate. She was back at the hotel within eight minutes. Work resumed as necessary.

Finally at around 4:30 PM, Maria told the front desk agent that she was going to go home for a while before she had to be back at the hotel in about 6 hours. She went home, but found she was unable to sleep. At 7 she got a call about a problem at the hotel. She grabbed a her Pride and Prejudice CD and got into the Altima. Cranked up the sound and played track 11, “ Bling, Bling Daddy.” She fixed the issues at the hotel and checked a baker’s dozen of rooms to ensure their perfection. Then, she left the hotel, only to return again at 10:30 PM for another round of the Night Audit.

On Tuesday, Maria was determined to find a car. Looking in papers, online, car pamphlets, etc. and utilizing parents, a suggestion arose that her aunt’s mini van could be a solution. Unfortunately, because Maria has not mastered the quality of humility, she declined on the intellect that she was only 22, single, and definitely without kids. Nor did she ever want to drive a mini van. The search for a car continued.

At noon, gold was struck in that her father found a vehicle. It was purchased. Arrangements were made to meet in Watertown, SD to pick the vehicle up. Maria asked her friend if he would help by driving the rental car back to Sioux City. He agreed. They left town at 6:00 PM. For some odd reason, he did not want to listen to classical music on the way up.

After the drive up, visiting briefly with her parents, driving back to Sioux City, and returning the rental car after filling it with gas; the final destination of home was reached at approximately 12:30 AM. Maria had to work at 6 AM the next morning.

Anyway… Sad day that my car died right? Well… now I drive a 1996 Ford Explorer XLT. (and yes, it has 4 wheel drive).

2009-04-21T20:27:00.002-06:00

Well, I have been utterly and compeletly wrong in not blogging to my fellow world...

to be quite honest, though...

it seemed as if not one soul read it, so I stopped.

But, I had a request so...

Here I write.

What has happened lately...

I went to the circus. It was kinda dull.
I saw Duplicity. It was very boring.
Three of my housekeepers didn't show up for work today, so the GM and I cleaned 30 rooms.

No fun.

I will think of a really great story to post...
and I will take the time to write it... IF i get at least ONE comment from this post.

Thanks!
Me.

So You'll never guess...

2008-09-03T23:31:00.001-06:00

I AM GOING TO ITALY!!!! In like two weeks!

2008-08-10T20:51:00.002-06:00

Oh if only sleep would come

2008-07-12T19:53:00.001-06:00

I am tired. I am coughing too hard to sleep through the night...

I can't move a fraction of an inch without causing my horrific sun-burn to get brushed.

Cough medicine is icky.

Just thought I'd grump.

GRRRR!!!

2008-05-05T14:37:00.003-06:00

Capulet & Montague

2008-04-22T10:21:00.004-06:00

Ariel Caprice

Vanilla Bean Grasshopper

M-Wal

Lavendar Giraffee

Cattrina Fargo

Walma

The Black Desani

Leander Carl

Lleander

Reiley Rothenberg

Winter Tiger Lily

Pommegranite Blousey

Nutrigrain Willow
The Painting Lightning

WaHoo!

2008-04-16T10:30:00.001-06:00

I am going to St. Petersburg, Russia in January through June of 2009!

The Perfect April Fool's Day Activity

2008-03-19T13:47:00.002-06:00

APRIL FOOLS!!!!
Are you looking for the perfect prank/ think to do on April Fools Day??

If so, YOU HAVE TO COME WITH US!!!!

Here is the plan:

We are getting together as many of the old second warders as we can- yes-- ALL of US!!! and then, we are going to sashay our way to the homes of the Colemans, Freestones, and Gibsons and be like, "We are here for FHE!! I am so excited for a piece of pie! (or to see the shrunken head)." Or something like that- maybe something more insane.

The more people that come, the more effective this is going to be... so do your part and show up!... Imagine... 100 of us actually were standing on their door step!

Here is the implementation:

The evening of April 1st, we (all the old second ward members) are going to meet at Ruth's apartment at the Villa- she lives in the same apartment. (the bottom corner apartment of the Big Girl's Building). You can start showing up at 7:00 PM. We will be LEAVING the villa at 8 PM- no later.

Please leave a comment stating that you are coming so I can keep an approximate head count. We want to make sure we have lots of people going! Thanks! And I better see you soon!

Hah!

2008-02-29T11:11:00.001-07:00

So Remember how you just figured out where I lived?

Well, in case you decided to become my stalkers, I moved!!!

So, Funny Story

2008-01-17T20:41:00.000-07:00

Twas a few days before Christmas and I was about to leave the baren land of the mountains and head to much greener pastures. (seriously, they really are greener). Rushing and Dashing and Thrashing all about... well, perhaps not thrashing... my sister, brother-in-law, and I scrambled about. The minute we began packing the car, swooosh! The wind began. Down came the rain, sleet, snow, and hail. Crack went the thunder as the sky was alighted.

From center street to parkway was a half hour drive on the interstate. From Provo to Salt Lake City was a three hour drive. We made it home 23 hours later. It should have only taken 18.

The way back was even better. We were crusing along. I took over the wheel a quarter to two a.m. I continued to cruise. Then all of the sudden... ICE!!! And they closed the interstate in Wyoming! We were only (in good conditions) five and a half hours away from Provo! So at 4:30 we found a little corner of a parking lot, slightly away from the myriad of semi's piling up all over the town. We tried to sleep- kinda hard and rather cold. At 7 in the morning, the interstates were still closed. We went to go find a breakfast joint to have something to eat and defrost in. We found the local hotspot... seriously, standing room only.

While we were there, they opened the interstate again. So we headed out again, I was at the wheel. We were clipping along at a rather astonishing speed- 70 mph. It got a little icy in parts, but I handled it just fine. Until...

Part two to come...

Uh... No Comment

2007-11-14T04:06:00.001-07:00

Me-a, Maria, Dressed In Yella

2007-11-14T03:14:00.000-07:00

The Newest, Hippest Jump Roping Game Around

Inspired by the life of well, me:

"Once a girl was so contraire,

She moved down south away from Fargo fair.

Landing in the Utah state,

She totally met a different fate.

Sweet and innocent she came

Now myriad of catastrophes are her blame.

How many laws did she break?

1,2,3,4,…….

1. It is against the law to fish from horseback.

2. It is illegal not to drink milk.

3. It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon.

4. Birds have the right of way on all highways.

5. You're not allowed to sell beverages containing more than 3.

6. It is a felony to persistently tread on the cracks between paving stones on the sidewalk

of a state highway.

7. It's legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list.

8. It is considered an offense to hunt whales.

9. Boxing matches that allow biting are not allowed.

10. It is illegal to cause a catastrophe

11. In Provo, Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine."

Why, I do believe I owe a whole lot of money….oopps.

A New Post

2007-11-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

Annie wanted a new post.

I am so boring that I have nothing to write about.

_____________________________________

Wanted: America's Next Top ?????

2007-10-07T16:48:00.000-06:00

I think American TV is stuck in a rut.

Let's see... There are America's... Shows

America's Next Top Model
America's Next Producer
America's Next Top Chef
American Idol
Nashville Star (the country version of American Idol)
and so on and so forth

Then there are crime/ cop shows:

Law & Order

Original
Special Victims Unit
Criminal Intent

Miami Vice
Psych
Monk
Diagnosis Murder
Texas Ranger
McGiver
The X Files
Pushing Daisies
and yadda yadda ya

And then there are the Doctor ones:

House
Private Practice
Grey's Anatomy
blah blah blah

My question is... when are they going to start
"America's Next Top Secret Medical/Kick Derriere Agent"

2007-09-24T16:59:00.001-06:00

You know those days from... hades...?

Yeah, this day has been far worse.

A Sailor

2007-09-14T15:37:00.001-06:00

My brother graduated from the Navy Boot Camp!

This past weekend, my parents and I headed to Illinois for my brother's graduation from Navy boot camp. It was so good to see him (and if I may say so, he looked quite nice in his Navy uniforms!!). When we were in the graduation hall waiting for the graduation to begin, my mother, father, and I were so excited to see him. Luckily, he was the adjutant of his division which basically meant he shouted out a lot of different commands during the ceremony, so we were able to see him before the actual ceremony began.

I thought it was rather fun how tall he was compared to everybody else and my goodness, he can yell. We had a nice weekend together. We went to Six Flags (and rode on almost every roller coaster and got sunburnt) and played pool and did lots of fun things. But the most important thing was that we were able to spend time with him.

So, I just wanted to let you all know because I am really proud of him!!!

Mr. Motor Cycle.

2007-08-22T11:42:00.000-06:00

Need I say More?

A Peruvain Man? Nope. Not from Peru.

2007-08-13T13:21:00.000-06:00

Do you all remember the lovely (well, perhaps not so lovely) Peruvian man from so long ago? Well, he has a brother... a Caucasian brother. "What's this?!" you say. Let me tell you.

It was a dark, dark night. The ominous sky foreboding and tumultuous. Lightning and thunder cracked the sky with utter vibrancy and shook the ground with great quakenings. A lone receptionist worked at the quaint hotel in Fargo. It was late.

She had done her duty in getting the vast majority of the disgusting linen from the previous occupants' stay washed, dried, and folded ever so neatly. She had filed all the needed reports, kept the place in good array, and was about to start the final preparations before the inevitable changing of the guard, er guest service agent.

Alas, it was not to be. She was doomed to fail in getting all in accordance before that fatal...changing... hour. A guest, more specifically, a male guest stopped at the front desk. Now, don't be mistaken, this was no ordinary inquisitory guest wanting to know where to find the most authentic North Dakotan cuisine in town. Oh no.

This sort of thing has happened before... but, this time it would prove more than just idle talk....(duhn, duhn, duhn!)

Seconds, minutes, hours, days (actually no day passed in it's entirety) passed by.
[if you would really like to be fairly precise in the measurement of time: 8,820 seconds ticked by, 147 minutes tocked along, 2.45 hours clanged on the clock, and .10208 days idled past.]

This guest kept me tied to the front desk, unable to finish the work assigned, or escape from his oddly questioning remarks. "How old is he?" he asked me frankly.

"How old is who?" I asked rather confused.
"Your boyfriend."
"My boyfriend?"
"The ring on your finger."
"Oh... that is from a friend. Not a boyfriend."
"So you don't have a boyfriend?"
"Uh, no."
"Dating anyone?"
"Not really."
"Really?" he said with a smirk.

A little later on...

"I am thinking about moving here."
"Really."
"You could fire your night auditor (who at that time was 30 minutes late), and hire me. I used to work at a hotel before I went over to Iraq."
"That is an idea."

A couple of Days later...

I am working on the housekeeping report in the manager's office, while at the same time a housekeeper was checking out a key, the same man handed something to the housekeeper, and said, "Give this to Maria."

I jumped up to figure out what was going on. I was handed a white teddy bear wearing a red paisley bandanna, a jean cut off t-shirt declaring, " Love to Ride Motor Cycles", black spandex pants, and black leather boots. I glanced up to see the man escaping from the hotel He glanced up, giving me a mischievous smile.

Two days after that, he turned in an application for the Night Audit position.

All hope of his idea of moving was thrown to the wind.

To top this off, my manager thinks this situation is utterly funny. And he is really thinking about hiring him.

With Much Ado

2007-07-27T16:03:00.001-06:00

(about nothing)

Tragically it has been an incredibly long time since I have written. so Sorry.

I really am in the mood to tell a funy story, but alas, I do not really have a good one. Here IS a couple of random one:

My younger sister, Amy, was at church one Sunday and was coming out of the ladies room, when a darling little girl and her mother were walking in. The awe-struck little girl turns an ancicipatory face to her mother and asked, "Is that Barbie?" with wide eyes.

The Tree River

2007-06-18T19:18:00.000-06:00

The River is encrouching!

It is eating the land & trees!

Ahhh!

by the way, this picture is of the Sheyenne River 10 yards away from my room

The Coolest Game Ever

2007-05-21T18:33:00.000-06:00

A Basketball Hoop

A Big Trampoline

A Basketball (or a volleyball if a basketball can't be procured.)

use your imagination....

You're Invited!

2007-04-05T09:20:00.000-06:00

So for the past three or four months, I have been organizing a REGIONAL CONFERENCE for the Young Single Adults. Our hope is that it will be HUGE. Our theme is "Extreme Make-Over: Spirit, Mind, & Body." And guess what! I would love to have you come! So, if you are feeling an incling to take a trip to the exotic and marvelous North Dakota (and see Maria before she leaves on a mission) now is the time!

For more information and registration visit the website (which I helped create):

fargoysa2007.com

Maria

2007-03-12T07:48:00.000-06:00

I learned a lot of stuff lately. Basically, it is all about me. But, honestly, who can blame me for being so wonderfully awesome?

Why is Maria so wonderfully awesome? Well...
First of all: Maria Walen is google'able. Go ahead, try it. Google: Maria Walen
Secondly: I am a language! Yeah! So all those years that I was saying I didn't even understand "Maria Talk" I was totally being truthful.
Thirdly: I learned how to make a website!!! And it is super easy! You should check it out. Side note: A different person, one who shall not be mentioned changed the background... which I am NOT happy about. Grrrrr. grrr. grrr. grrr

To sum it all up, yep I am awesome. Little did you know.

A Story Annie could relate to...

2007-02-26T11:34:00.000-07:00

or so I think...

One Sunday, namely last Sunday, I went to church. Then I left church. I went home. Later, Elder Armstrong (senior missionary) called and told me I left my green scarf. This I knew. Then he also told me I left my purse there. That I hadn't realized.

I told them I would come by and pick it up a little later.

So I did. I rang their apartment; they let me in. I was let into their apartment to find they had company. Lots of company. Elders. MANY Elders. And the mission president & his wife.

Elder Armstrong: Maria, come in, come in. Let me introduce you to everyone.
Bewildered Maria: Uh, hello. I am so sorry, I didn't realize you had company!
Elder Armstrong: Its fine! Have you meet President Cannon?
Maria: Yeah, at the airport.... I think. Um, well.. actually I think that was the area president. Never mind. Nice to meet you.
President Cannon: Yeah, must of been someone else.
Elder Armstrong: And this is his wife.
Maria: Hello.
Sister Cannon: Hi
Elder Armstrong: Come, take your coat off and join us.
Maria: Oh, no.. no.no. I couldn't. I feel bad that I int erupted your evening as it is. And, uh, I am, uh, not exactly, uh, we'll, um, I am only wearing my pajamas. So I think I better go.
An Elder: Oh, it is okay. We have lots of chaperons.
President Cannon, most Elders, and I turn RED. Maria laughs lightly.
Elder Armstrong: Well, let me go get your purse for you. I found it left in the primary room...
Maria: Thanks. Have a great night everyone, bye.

Outside of the apartment
Maria mutters about how awkward and embarrassing that was. Uses an Annism, "Ahh, I am so awkward!"

BRRR!!!

2007-02-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

Brr!! It's cold up here!
There must be some Dakotans in the Atmosphere!

My fingers are frozen.

I am pretty sure Utah ruined me.

Oranges, Apples, & Kiwi

2007-01-25T07:18:00.000-07:00

One day my friend and I were on the Metro in DC going from our REALLY nice hotel to some lovely tourist, nationally historic spot. On this Metro, a super cute boy walked on....(allow me to elaborate: tall, dark hair, clean cut, handsome, charming, great smile (it lights up his whole face)... you get the picture). I tried hard not to look at him the whole time... I think I failed. He got off a few stops later. I turned to my friend and asked if she had seen this Apollo like man. She hadn't and became upset that I hadn't pointed him out while he was on the Metro.

She then proceded to say that we ought to have a code. She outlined that if I saw a cute guy, I was to say, "I think I'll have an orange." If she saw a woman she would love to look like, she would say, "I think I'll have an apple for breakfast."

Later when we were getting off of the Metro (at the Metro Center) to switch to the Red line, we were walking along and I was reading the map. She was just walking along. I looked up and she was about to run over a little person. I tried to warn her that she was about to run over her, but alas I was too late. She clobbered the poor thing.

She turned to me again and asked why I didn't warn her. She now said that I ought to say "Kiwi" if she were about to squish a little person. We were to the escalators at that point. (Now, you know I am a classic blonde...) Knowing I was going to mess up this system at some point or another, I told her in all honesty, that I was going to get them all messed up and just start saying, "Apple, Orange, Kiwi!"

She looks back at me and says, "You mean you'll be attracted to an androgynous short person?"

Highly unlikely.

A New Adventure

2007-01-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

Maria needed a little break from Syrup flying, crazy new system, unending work. So she went on a trip! And she is having fun.... sleeping in...leisurly touring...visiting friends... becoming more cultured (who'da thought it possible?). And the weather. Pretty terrible. It has been in the 60s! Auggh!!!!

I am missing North Dakota's -20 (actual temerature)! Que Cosa!

That is all.

Extra, Extra! Read all about it!

2006-12-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

Fargo Forum

Weather patterns have recently caused much confusion to the citizens of the Fargo-Moorhead region. Due to El Nina and global warming according to national scientists, warm weather has permiatted the area causing unnatural high tematures of 25-30 degrees and once as high as 45 this December. Snow falls and melts to soon for anyone to enjoy. Citizens are becoming upset and children are having a difficult time keeping their focus while in school. City official have gathered together to try to arrange for colder tempatures, but have failed to come up with a plan.

The second phenominon that has affected a broader 70 mile radius of Fargo, has been the earthquakes that get a Richter scale reading of 2.0. These earthquakes that have been going off every day starting around 10;30 and last about 10 minutes and then occur about another 30 minutes later, have now ceased. Confusion is high, but do not despair: researchers have found the cause. A local hotel, the Econo Lodge, located on 13th Ave and 34th St S is where they have radiated from. Local authorities have questioned all personel about these earthquakes. They all claimed to not have the faintest idea of what was happening. After detailed explaination of these earthquakes, one recptionist stated that their washer for laundry made "armaggedon like noises and shaked as if it were trying to emplode upon itself." Investigations and test have proved the washer to be the source of such tribulation. It has since been fixed.

2006-11-14T14:43:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth Anne Walen Kannianen.

One sister down, three to go.

I hate planning weddings.

Twas the Night

2006-10-28T10:45:00.000-06:00

Twas the night before last, when all through the farm

Not a monster was sitting, not even a marm.

The Acers were haunted by the clan with heed,

In hopes that we all soon would be dead in deed.

The children were running in terror and fright,

While visions of goblins and ghouls worsened their plight.

And Brandon in his toque, and I doing great,

Had just begun the first of our date.

When out in the distance there arose such a clatter,

I was wary to go see what was the matter.

Away to the crowd we were drawn to the line,

We mindlessly forked out a twenty buck fine.

The moon was dim and no lights shown,

Making all creep along wary to the bone.

When, what to my delicate ears should sound,

But a cosmic boom, crack, shot ringing abound.

With a freaky old driver, so grotesque and half dead,

We boarded a rickety, rackety bus with great dread.

More rapid than kamikazes he drove that old thing,

And he moaned and grunted “Them to you I bring!”

Battered and bruised we exited that bus,

And begun the trail without the slightest fuss.

So toward the school we went four by four,

With trepidation and anticipation we went through the door.

And then, in an instant, all lights went out.

The dead, the masked and dismembered crept about.

Poor Brandon, being a guy tried to act tough;
But due to a girl, his arm was about to fall off!

But what to my surprise he too squealed quite loud!!

And turned and hugged me to shut out the terrible crowd!

The grim reaper was about to take off his head,

But pushing and running we escaped that dread!

Onward and onward we senselessly went,

And ran into Chucky who had a vendetta to vent!

We tried to escape, oh yes we did, from playing tag

Alas and alack, I was chain-sawed higher than my leg.

Excuse me! I said with quite the force.

I thought touching wasn’t allowed in this course!

Laughing and mocking the man kept sawing,

So I turned and almost started clawing!

Through the maze we ran blindly,

Trying to escape all the men who were unkindly.

And to our amazement and utter relief,

We began to see the end of our grief.

Up ahead, just yonder, lied the end,

We made it, we made it, oh truly my friend.

And with my complexion much fairer,

We left the “Acers of Terror”!

Additions

2006-10-03T11:07:00.000-06:00

My sister is back from Ecuador!!

And two days later, she became engaged!!

I am going to have another brother (that is a brother-in-law).

Just thought you may want to know.

Oh, you want more information?

Well, she and Jordan are getting married on the 11th of November. Yep. Basically tomorrow.

Are you still here?

Man, you must be bored.

More info... let's see...

come January they are moving out to Utah.

Why, you ask?

he is going to go to BYU.

Yep.

I'm gunna leave. I suggest you do the same and go do something more productive with your day.

Good morning!

2006-09-04T07:05:00.000-06:00

How was my weekend? Why, thank you for asking.

Let's see. Hmm. Well... I did do a few things. Like I gave four bison their yearly bath. I also got stung by a bee- in my bedroom. I captured and batted around a birdie- volleyed it with my mother for about an hour and a half. Went into hibernation. Watched a crazy movie. And a few other things.

Did you enjoy your weekend?

Well, it has been great running into you again. I'd love to stay and chat, but I better get to work. Have a great day!

Malo.

2006-08-07T17:14:00.000-06:00

I think I confused a few people. Tis a shame.

Day whatever... Regained my brain and memory. Remember I was a princess of Eden. Named Keliana. Took pictures.

Return to Humanity.

Developed pictures.

The Cave

Brenden, Brook, Amy

AMY & ME

in other words... this was a priest & luarel canoe trip.

poratge... a dirty french word.

2 km... an unholy distance.

Ich bin zurruck.

2006-07-22T15:21:00.000-06:00

Day One:1400 hours: I have collected a group of soldiers and comrades to go forth from the land of the free and brave to seek other pastures where we may be welcomed. A few of the volunteers I believe are masquerading marauders. Hopefully all goes well and none shall get hurt.

Day Four: 0900 hours:Strife breaks out amoungst the company. Bitter tears wept and blood spilt. Things are dicey. (especially the games.)

Day Thirteen: unknown time: lost watch. going crazy. dissention has crept into the camp like a fog hovering in the morning. Down to three men. We found bananas and laughed our great fortune.

Day Fourteen:moon in sky: plague erupts. Locust eat men. Left alone.

Day Fifteen: Upset. Training didn't talk about being all alone. I don't even have Wilson.

Day Seventeen: Companionship found. Clarence.

Day Twenty-nine: Had lost my palm. But is now found. Made clothing from leaves. Now understand why Cain was always cranky.

Day Thirtytwo: Discovered land of beauty and wonder, but in the midst of journeyings, lost crew, family, and planned future. Lost amoungst the leaves, brooks and wild bears and elegant deer. Like strewn, water-whipped branches bleached in the sun- life is taking on a new outlook. Concern about my water. Misplaced my bananas.

And now I'm gone.

2006-07-05T10:29:00.000-06:00

I did a no-no.

And I need to leave the country.

I am grateful to have known ya'll.

I hope I had a good affect on you.

Don't party too hard now that you know I'm gone.

But I'll understand if you do.

Cause when I heard the good news:

That Maria had to flee the country,

I jumped and down for joy.

And then, I remembered:

Oh, I am Maria.

Sad Day.

I guess I will have to try a new land.

Good-bye.

Ya, I'm Home.

2006-06-28T13:42:00.000-06:00

So on dis one day, I vent home. Ya. Und now, I tink dat I picked up speakin' correcktly again. Ya. Und, da ya remembre de lovely vell? It sure tastes good still. Sure betcha! Yummee. Since, I gone and turned twenty, I don't need to go tew school, but my sisters... they still go. Quiant lovely ting. And my car! Oh. I love my car.

I got together vit Lina de oder day. Ole vas outta town. Ve had great fun talking abOut all dem good ole days. She told me a funny story abOut her and Ole. I tink I should let ya know tew. Ya see, it vent sometin' like dis:

Ole and Sven had grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing last November vhen I vas in Utah. As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, "There are no fish under the ice."
Ole an Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, " There are no fish under the ice."
They both looked around and then looked up. Ole said in a humble voice, "Are you God?"
The voice spoke back, "No ya idiots! I'm the ice rink attendant."

Lena und I laughed and laughed. Ve tink dat it is not so good for Lars, Sven and Ole dat I leave dem alone. Hmm..

Years numbered by a Score

2006-06-17T12:34:00.000-06:00

It is true. No longer a teenager.

Remember last year? Well... I gues that ineluctable hip replacement surgery is getting ever closer. Que cosa!

So... old second-warders, my birthday wish from you... Lots & lots of comments.

Last year there were 18.

This year I turned 20. Do ya think you could make me happy and match that number?

That is all.

Thank you kindly.

Ohh...

2006-06-14T17:47:00.000-06:00

I like... do you like the new look?

Oh for CUTE!

2006-05-11T18:25:00.000-06:00

Guess what! Rick and Rebecca Tang are now Parents!!!!

Lydia Ying Tang.

An ADORABLE little girl!!!!

Just thought you would like to know.

Only me.

2006-04-04T23:26:00.000-06:00

Have you ever thought that you are the strangest thing on the earth? Well... It has been confirmed that you are not. You know why? Because I am! Yes, yes. Don't even TRY to argue. It won't fly. Don't believe me? How 'bout I give ya proof.

Who on earth would have this happen to them???

One day, let's say last Thursday, a person went to a chiropractor. This said person was adjusted (in other words... all the bones put back to where they are suppose to be) and then had an hour of deep muscle therapy message. The massage ended with the therapist doing something with the person's feet in order to get blood flowing to the bottom half of the person, so when this person sat up, the person wouldn't get dizzy or faint. Now, this person went to the person's car. And was wincing in pain. This person drove back to where this person lives. Barly making it to the person's door... let alone inside... and calls the chiropractor. Chiropractor tells this person to go back to the chiropractic office. This person does. The person's bones in the person's foot and knee were out of alignement. Then this person is told by the chiropractor to ice it and if it is not better- meaning feeling worse- the next morning to check it out. This person wakes up the next morning. Ankle, foot- far worse. Goes to the doctor. Is told it is sprained.

Who, may I ask, goes to the chiropractor, followed by an hour massage- and ends up with a sprained ankle???? Can you tell me that you know of anyone???

Didn' think so. Hence. Your arguments just won't fly.

I am the STRANNGEST thing ever.

"My toe is mortified!"

2006-03-04T18:02:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time.

I was sitting on the chair.

Talking to a friend, on the phone.

I squealed and fell off.

and I was embarrassed.

The end.

Productivity

2006-02-02T16:50:00.000-07:00

You will all be amazed...
i actually did something with my day.
Imagine that.
a pure journaling moment.
the epitomy of all that is (i can't remember the word)

I went to American Fork.

But wait, that is not all.
No, not quite.

Then, I went to school. Jefferson.

And I was a substitute.
And in a month or so...

I will get a check.
Addressed to me.

NOT YOU

And...
the craziest part about it...
my interview was today.
at 9:15
I clocked in at 9:25.

Booyaa!

Bad part is...
I only have half of my hair left.
and I am pretty sure I will be pretty close to black and blue tomorrow.
and I can't seem to get rid of the awful smell, of throw up, that was aimed at me: which I thankfully dodged.

But the teacher said I did really well.
And the kids loved me.
And she wants me to be in her classroom again tomorrow.

Huh.
Imagine that.

I guess there is going to be round two.

Come 8:30 a.m. I will be headed toward American Fork.
Oh happy, happy, joy, joy.

brain tweaking

2006-01-23T13:29:00.000-07:00

a common english word
nine letters long
subtract one letter, it still is an english word.
brush off another, it remains an english word.

nine letters all the way down to one letter- are all english words.
what word is it?
and the subsequent words?

and no cheating!

A Jot and A Tittle

2006-01-09T11:27:00.000-07:00

My Holiday:

Decorating the Church (2)
Sledding at the Dike
Running on the River
Built a Family of Snowmen
Climbed Mt. Depot
Fell in Love with the CUTEST baby under the sun
Threw Confetti & drank bubblie
Created a Fort protected by a watchman and an Amazon Warrior Snowwoman
Read 8 novels and hundreds of children’s books
Explored a new world
Sledded down a vertical drop
Saw too many movies
Conversed in Arabic
Talked with my Sister (in Quito)
Was attacked by the Treadmill
Cooked for the Missionaries
Played games with my Family

And so much more.

2005-11-18T18:32:00.000-07:00

Suspense

Constituting my Dreams

2005-10-18T15:42:00.000-06:00

listed in order of frequency

A husband named Erich
An adorable, beyond measure, little Jewish daughter
My family in North Dakota and Quito
Eschatological things
Lots of color and symbolism
A couple second warders
Halloween parties
My elementary principal and his wife
School work and professors
Germany (dreamt in German)

just thought it was rather interesting... or weird...

2005-10-15T19:27:00.000-06:00

Sorry I have been rather quiet lately... still don't have a whole lot to say though.
Besides...
Have a wonderful day
and just smile.

have you stood in another's shoes?

2005-09-26T23:25:00.000-06:00

points of views are very interesting.
they are helpful to know.
they can be offensive.
they can be enriching.

propaganda is using media to try to persuade others to a specific point of view. once, while researching information for a historiagraphy paper about anti-semitism in post world war two in the Middle East, i came across this.

i thought i'd share.

first: use this address- http://www.islamicity.com/IslamiTV/
2nd: under "Main Categories" (left hand column) select "Original Shows"
3rd: toward the bottom of the left column "Sub Categories" will appear, select "Comical Views"
4th: watch and listen to the two about Bush. (you can watch the other two if you'd like...)

then, let me know what you think. and if you haven't watched 'em, don't read the comments until you do.

HYPOCRITE

2005-09-23T18:43:00.000-06:00

My life has been culminating into this crazy thing bound by deadlines, time frames, and schedules: although I like organization more than I probably ought to, I miss simplicity. Since when does it matter if a paper be four pages or eight pages? Since when should a person lose sleep, sanity, compassion… over an insignificant assignment in the eternal scheme of this world?

Last Sunday, Ashley N. asked me to give the lesson for FHE. I did, giving one on optimism. I privately set the goal to be optimistic all week. I failed. Miserably failed. Besides having a Hurricane Katrina proportioned migraine for multiple days, I was short-tempered, frustrated, depressed, and cranky. I didn’t want to laugh. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to do anything.

But knowing this, and remembering what I shared on Sunday, I feel even worse (imagine that) because I know that I am being a Hypocrite. “Be happy,” my mouth said. “Be miserable,” my actions yelled. “Smile at others,” I suggested.” “Don’t you dare smile at me!” my eyes hissed. “The Savior, even through all that He suffered- for you, for me, for all of those He loved- was the most optimistic man to live. We are taught to be like Him,” I reminded the group. But, to everyone reading my actions, face, or mind, “Woe is me. Let me be miserable.”

But…. I wanna report… I am fighten’ dat miserable misery-devil.
And

I

Am

Now

SMILING!!!!!

a day shy of two weeks...

2005-09-14T13:18:00.000-06:00

wow i am pathetic. and the thing is that once again I have nothing to write about. i really want to take a nap though.

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

2005-09-01T13:57:00.000-06:00

They (the unidentified people of the world) say that a person is suppose to go to school to learn stuff. I am going to school. Am I learning anything? You bet I am!

The sun doesn't provide enough heat.
Freshman are not wide-eyed, bushy-tailed innocence.
Guys are still scarey sometimes.
Other guys are fun and enjoyable to be around.
Girls and their girlish tendencies to flirt 24/7 are annoying.
Bugs are named correctly.
Intimidation comes in the form of scribbely lined homework sheets.
Professors are just as akward as everyone else: hence there is no hope to grow out of it.
People as a whole are friendly.
It is not difficult to look like you are an authority of some sort- just dress nicely and frown slightly and move with purpose.
It is important to keep friendly connections with everyone- even with those who intimidate you- they come back into your life at one time or another.
Tons of people in a little hallway, trying to go five different ways, does not result in happiness. (so is it wickedness?)
LIFE IS EXPENSIVE
Getting older is good, but depressing at times.
Clocks are mean. They make their hands go really fast when you have a deadline to make. And they make their hands go molassesly slow when you are bored with nothing to do.
Mastering a foriegn language is impossibly hard.

And have YOU learned ANYTHING as cool as me?
I betcha yeh haven't... ;)

"adults are obsolete children"

2005-08-24T13:47:00.000-06:00

You know those people (the old people) that act as if they were still children. Be it due to their actions, mentality, spontaneity, creativity, and a whole lot more 'ity's, these people are either endearing are pathetically annoying. Trying to be more optimistic in my outlook in life, I am going to ignore the second group and expound slightly upon the first.

Starting with the author of the quote, Theodor Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss.
Dr. Seuss wrote political cartoons at one point in his life, but he is not known for them. Rather he is known for his childrens' books that were written with such childish glee, that all of America has either heard, read, seen, or had any little claim with the intricate exciting tales. If ever you are bored, try clicking around in www.suessville.com -you will be pleased, I am sure.

And then there are the people a little closer to home. My mother is one of them. More often than not, any of the things that could be classified as hairbrainish or certifiably crazy were things that my mother initiated. Memories such as playing in the muddy swing-set area (we were resanding) during a downpour, lying outside- under a tree- watching the lightening in the sky and feeling the thunder shake the ground, letting the wind hold us up during a storm that entailed hurricane winds, driving a full sized van when my feet couldn't reach the pedals while my head remained above the steering wheel, attacking my Father with ribbons and nail polish as he napped on the floor, jumping into the pool fully clothed, and I could go on and on forever. I want to be like my mother when I am her age, have kids that are in school, and keeping a job, a house, and a family in wondrous order.

The funny thing about personality is that it doesn't change much. Yes, people get older and gain wisdom, but those who are happy at heart and are like a little child in the candystore, are going to be those fun, crazy, endearing old people. When the wrinkles set in and age deprecates the mind, are you going to be one that will be thrilled for the places you have not only gone, but will yet go? Will you live in the past or, perhaps, you will be more thrilled for the adventures that will pack your days full of glee and wonderment at this gift, called life, that our Heavenly Father gave us?

I am done. I have an appointment in Seussville. Maybe I'll see you there.

THE NEWS

2005-08-14T19:36:00.000-06:00

In order to understand the full affect of this news, I included a portion of one of my journal entries:

… I had agreed to go on a blind date to humor a friend of mine, and actually looked forward to it. The guy came and we went out. Toward the end of this date, this man that I had scarcely met asked me to marry him. Strangely, I felt a need to agree, so I did.

Then we were married- I really don’t remember any of the ceremony, planning, or anything. I went home to North Dakota to see my family directly following the wedding- I was there for a month.

On my return, I was walking up a greeny knoll to the BYU married housing. A bunch of mothers came running to help me take by things to the place where my husband and I were to live. They brought a bunch of horrific house decorations, as well.

When I saw the inside of the building, I was horrified. The units were only kept separate by an ugly colored-red curtain. The living room had two small couches- both just barely fitting in the cramped space. Then two more curtains led to two bedrooms- both only furnished with a cot and a two-drawer dresser.

The place was deplorable and I was almost in tears- but I kept my chin up. I began to bring the stuff into one of the bedrooms and tried to put a few things in a drawer, but discovered they were full of the old occupants’ belongings.

A few of my friends showed up for a “house” warming party- eight to be exact. About a half hour later another group came- leading was my husband. “Hello,” I said cheerfully when I saw him- yet it was with reservation.

“Hi, uh…uh……uh……”
“You don’t remember my name?!!!!!”
“Well! You left me for a month!”
“One month! One month! To visit my family!”
“Well,” he snidely inserted, “we are just hit and miss. I’ll be gone for a week.”

I knew that this fighting wasn’t good. I got up and went to hug him. He pulled back slightly and I looked up at him and was hoping he’d kiss me- my first kiss. He did not. The tension was high in the room and people started saying that they had better go. My husband left with his friends- among which were several of his ex-girlfriends.

My mind started to race, berating myself over and over, “what have I gotten myself into? Why did I marry him? What did I see in him? Do I even love him? How is this going to work? I can get a divorce. No. I can’t. I need to be patient and understanding. It will work. Oh, Father! Will it? Help me!”

And then I woke up. Thankfully.

Anyway- the guy in my dream was tall, tan, and had dark hair: not suave handsome, but ruggedly so. On Friday night, I went to an Orem Owlz game. The Owlz won (Both teams were rather poor). But the news is, I SAW HIM! Okay, maybe it wasn’t HIM, but he was tall, tan, and dark haired… and drop dead handsome!

Disclaimer: Maria truly does not want to ever meet the husband of afore stated dream.

Nothing New & Exciting

2005-08-10T10:52:00.000-06:00

BUT,

THE WORLD IS STILL BEAUTIFUL!

The Affect of Boredom

2005-07-30T15:33:00.000-06:00

Today has been interestingly boring
uh...not really
while many of you are having fun hiking and playing in the waterfalls, '
hopefully having a wonderful time
i am being weird.
quite frankly- it is scarey
it all started this morning.
doesn't it always?
7 am.
too early for a Saturday
i woke up
begrudgingly
nothing exciting there
unless you are freakishly weird
then i read in novel.
it was good to escape reality
i read until 10:30-
lalla diddy
so for about three hours.
lazy me
i read about 240 pages.
a decent number
then my roommate woke up
dunddadaah
which was amazing-
once again, dunddadaah
she is usually a very late sleeper
like until the early afternoon
she took two and a half hours to get ready.
a record for a saturday
then i took a shower and got ready.
in about a half hour
then i was going to write letters,
i have been bad in corresponding
but i have two cuts on my thumb
from fooling around with a Leatherman
which made it a little difficult to write...
i gave up after a page
so instead i went back into my room
which was not the neatest it has ever been
and saw all my clothes.
all organized they way they ought be
i proceeded to put weird outfits together
like bright orange with pale blue and a fuzzy white scarf
and laughed at my own boredom.
and then laughed at me laughing at my boredom
then i asked Ellyn if i could use her computer.
she said i could
now i have been on it for a while
for over an hour
and i am getting bored again

basically-
you just wasted a few moments
of your life
reading this
nonsensical
compilation,
with the oddest
most incorrect
grammer
and structuring
ever to hit
the
Blogger's
World.

congratulations.
and i am sorry.
you could have spent
those
precious moments reading
Jon's blog to Rowling
Adriane's blog about freedom
Jena's blog for birthdays
Meagan's blog about real issues
Annie's blog highlighting pony tails
Robbert's inquitive blog about apartments
Kat's blog about travel
Corey's blog about "drugs"
Erika's blog toting Utah's wonder
Tiffany's blog about fatigue

the list can go on forever!

or...
if you are REALLY
bored
you can
s
c
r
o
l
l
back to the top
and read
this
entry
all
over
again

but for some odd reason-
i truly don't think you will.

unless i mis judged your character...

Well Then

2005-07-18T11:03:00.000-06:00

I had to move out of apartment 61- completely move out. No fun... especially since they made me move to the third floor. Way too many stairs to move stuff- close to 50 stairs each trip. I made 10 trips on Thurdsay night- and it didn't even make a dent in my stuff. Grr.

If you want to visit me I am now in apartment 78 for awhile. It has many problems. I have many issues with the Villa- but who doesn't. My daddah was about to blow a gasket when i told him what was going on/not going on.

Really boring entry. Sorry. People in the library are boring today.
DIE ENDE

what is with us?

2005-07-12T11:55:00.000-06:00

we all are being rather non-bloggy lately. my excuse is that my computer isn't working. what is yours?

little thoughts while at the library
-um, lady, can't you see that there is a line?
-uh, sir, did you take a bath in your clogne this morning?
-um, dear ladies- although it is interesting to learn of your prior marriages can you talk a little softer? and i would have hoped that you knew your ethnicity by now
-oh, lovely. little kids sitting in a wagon- in the library.
-okay people. i officially believe that american men are insecure... enough with the man perfume!
-why do i have 75 new emails and not one of them is worth reading?
-ew, i only have five more minutes
-awh, i have been given five more minutes
-i think the old ladies were playing musical husbands
-okay, we all know the order of your children- and which husband they belong to. thak you.
- i need to get out of here, my head is killing me- no more smelly people, please!
-this is a really weird blog. oh well. whatever works. new post=more comments. so even though it is nonsensical, must post something...
-oh, five more minutes!
-but i think i am going to cut out. toodles...

The night of July 2nd.

2005-07-06T10:12:00.000-06:00

Adriane spent quality time with Robert...

so the fireworks from the stadium of fire were alright. it was fun to get together with a group of people (wardies and old wardies) and watch the sky light up in brilliant displays of color from the side of the mountain. the drive back was something else.

ryan was driving the black beauty. i was in the front passenger seat. chad, chenoa, and paige were in the back. we made it to the east side of the temple in approx. 15-20 minutes from the mountain side. then chad and chenoa decided to walk home. we all knew that they would beat us back. five minutes later ryan said that someone ought to be directing traffic. a couple minutes later, flashlight in hand, clad in dark jeans, a black shirt, and pink sandles, i was standing in the middle of a intersection. i waved cars forward and signaled stop. it was weird. most cars did exactly what i bade them to do. there were a few nimcompoops though. one car- full of college aged guys- asked me if i was a cop. i answered honestly. they told me that i was slowing traffic down and that they were going to call the cops on me.
i smiled and told them to go ahead and do just that.

we got back to the villa an hour later. yeah for after fireworks traffic. i got to practice what could become a talent. (tee hee)

and that is the summation of my night. the end. by me.

little Ado about Nothing

2005-06-30T14:41:00.000-06:00

i really do not have anything to write about other than maybe that i want to play with ya'll...maybe this weekend?

life is fine. looking for a job. going to church. talking to family. spending time with people in the ward. yep. that is basically my life.

Hmm...

2005-06-22T09:21:00.000-06:00

North Dakota is still as beautiful as ever. And I am old.

Hippie Hop Happy!

2005-06-14T12:03:00.000-06:00

Guess what?!! On the front page of BYU- the hoome page, in those nice little news briefs, my two favorite universities are listed side by side!!! Imagine my delight when I read, "according to a new study from researchers at Brigham Young University and North Dakota State University."

At first I really thought that I was seeing things...i didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night (approx. 0 hours). But then I was giddy. Yeah! Tons of students are going to read that and think about North Dakota! Yeah!! Ahh.

Anywho, i guess i was excited about it like only a true Nor'Dakodain would be...

if ya wanna read da artikle here's the link:
http://byunews.byu.edu/archive05-Jun-fathersday.aspx

Can I, please?

2005-06-11T18:14:00.000-06:00

...go to Bobby's house?
...play in the water?
...skip school?
...get a pet duckie?
...color?
...not have to clean my room?
...go to a movie with my friends?
...play soccer even though it is raining?
...not practice the sax?
...go out to play?
...build a treehouse?
...jump on the tramp?

...yell for mercy?

Mund zu! Sei still! Ickruss!

2005-06-09T00:32:00.000-06:00

Blah Blah Blah Blah

World travel is so amazing. I cannot wait until I can go again.
Yeah, I am currently watching kbyu… which is airing the funny travel guy(Rick Steves). Right now he is talking about München (Munich). I miss it. Everywhere he is highlighting, I have been. And I want to go back. ::pout, pout:: mmm. I want to go to Die Zugspitze.

I have a desire to take a trip. But probably won’t occur.

I am shaking… have been all day long- (well, actually on and off since Monday). Today in class (uh… yesterday since it is past midnight), Jack, my speaking partner asked me what I was taking that was making me so jittery. I think he was really thinking I was taking some sort of illegal drug. Hmm. Not such a good thing to ask a girl. It probably rates right up there with “Aren’t you married?”

I talked with my family five times today. I think it is a record. The shortest conversation was twenty minutes. The longest, two hours.

My best friend, who is only a little over three months older than me, is getting married- next weekend. It seems so crazy. All life long, she said that I would be married long before she ever was. Guess not. She followed her older sister’s example: she went to college and found a guy, got engaged, married a few months later. I am following my sister’s example: went to college, went to college (sophomore year), found a guy, practically engaged, went on a mission… Nah, guess I am not following her example either. I am my own me.

My little sister is going to be 14 years old on the 20th. Simply crazy. Meine Mutti cannot believe that these years have gone by so fast. Children aging from 21 to 14. Yeah. My family is getting older.

My final is coming up in a week. I am really scared. Sorry this is a bunch of random thoughts. But don’t you ever just need to ramble on? Well, right now I feel the need to be chatty…but it is rather late so no one is up to plague. Lucky them.

Any way. The End.

In case ya miss it...

2005-06-02T13:21:00.000-06:00

If you can't start a conversation without mentioning the weather . . .
If you refer to hair as hairs . . .
If you say Uff-da and Fe-da . . .
If you understand ALL the uses of the word "Uff-Da" . . .
If your epitaph will include the words "yep" and "nope" . . .
If your dad repeated first grade because he only spoke Norwegian . . .
If you can't make it through a phone conversation without mentioning the weather . . .
If you think a bison is a buffalo . . .
If you think skis are "Norwegian timber" . . .
If you understand that "Yah y'betch yah" means either "I agree" or "You're full of it" and you know the difference . . .
If you never confuse "Yah," "Yep," and "Yah y'betch yah" . . .
If you think everyone from a different state has an accent . . .
If your answer to "How are you?", "How's the weather?", "How was your crop?", or "How's the ranchin' goin'?" is the same--"Not so bad."
If you can identify a Minnesota accent . . .
If you bake with soda and drink pop . . .
If you "manure the barn" . . .
If you hear "Yah, sure" not "Yes, sir" . . .
If you say, "Outside, zero is below" . . .
If you go to Arkansas for a visit and everyone tells you you have an accent . . .
If you go to the post office to mail a paggitch . . .
If you talk about electric tape and people don't look at you like they wonder just how many cards are left in your deck . . .
If you refer to a snack as a "bunny lunch" . . .
If being detained by snow is to be "snow-stayed" . . .
If you pronounce it Nor'Dakoda . . .
If you consider Spanish a foreign language . . .
If after you have discussed the weather, conversation declines . . .
If you end all of your sentences with either "ya know", "you betcha", or "okiedokie" . . .
If you hear "You betcha" and "Okey Dokey" in the same sentence . . .
If your e-mail address is uffda . . .
If you omit the noun or pronoun from the end of a sentence beginning, "I am coming (or going) with . . .
If you routinely end sentences with prepositions, i.e., "Do you want to come with?" . . .
If you think someone from northern Indiana has a southern accent and wouldn't really know what winter is.
If you say "uff-da" as an exclamation . . .
If you have ever said, "Cold weather keeps out the riff-raff" . . .
If the second question after "Where are you from?" is always "Do you know ----?" . . .
If you call the grass between the sidewalk and the curb a berm . . .
If you don't believe you sound like the actors in the movie Fargo . . .
If you cannot greet anyone without first mentioning the weather . . .
If you pronounce Greg and Craig the same, and people can tell the difference . . .
If you state the obvious--"Oh, I see you are in town today" . . .

If your speech becomes the main entertainment while outside of the state...

. . . then you must be from North Dakota.

Ginger Beer and Chocolate

2005-06-01T14:16:00.000-06:00

All I have got to say is that Heavenly Father sure did make a lot of good looking guys to walk this earth. And after a swig or two of Beer that is heavy on the Ginger, they seem to be every which way you look. Then chocolate was discovered, (by the Spanish Monks, right?), so a girl can ponder why those guys seem to be everywhere. Ginger Beer and chocolate. What a combination.

There was this one time...

2005-05-22T18:38:00.000-06:00

That I made a little booklet:

To Achieve Gender Appropriateness in Conversation
A few hints and clues to a better conversation with members of the opposite gender.

Things to Avoid in the Presences of Males
1. Personal information
2. Parts of bodies that are not usually seen by others, such as stomachs
3. Information about rooms that are personal, such as bedrooms
4. Any confessional information, such as who someone has(does) liked
5. Weird things that one has said, while not necessarily thinking coherently

If that list is too general, here is a more specific list:
Crushes
The T-One lists
Toilet paper
Bathrooms
Odd illnesses
Eligibility in the dating realm
Alpacas
Quoting girlish thoughts
Moments of extreme oddness
Afore-mentioned males
Others’ childhood stories without permission
Breeding methods
Checking off a guy from the eligibility list
Dates
Grapes
Poor performances
Odd idiosyncrasies
Comments about guys

A General Rule of Thumb

Pretend that any information to be stated is about you. If you wouldn’t like if it were shared, do not share. If you wouldn’t mind, take into consideration who the information is about, and how he/she normally handles that type of information.

Gender Appropriate Topics
Weather patterns
The wet plains in Spain
Sacrament meeting talks
Firesides and Devotionals
The difference between an apple and an orange
Families… with moderation
Music
Literature
School progression
Lessons learned for the betterment of self (with moderation)
The distance of the astronomical sphere
Critiquing a piece of art
Trends of the stock market
Cultures from around the world
Missions
Games (those sold in stores, such as Monopoly)
Beauty of Nature
Welfare of the person (health… a polite inquiry, not much more)
Political issued surfacing in America
Respectful complimenting

And now… everyone keeps apologizing about saying something that is in the book.

PS… this copy is a slight alteration

"I thought Dodos were extinct!"

2005-05-19T13:51:00.000-06:00

You know those people that a thought similar to that crosses your head. From actions, words, or appearance such thoughts arise because of them. Yeah. You feel sorry for them, while wondering if they are trying to make a statement. And if so, what statement could they possibly be trying to convey?!!

You remember that a little while ago Adriane wished that she could rewind those past few days? Well, I am more than wishing that I could rewind and replay this past day and a half.

Yesterday. Oh. I really wish that that did not happen. I let go of dignity for a couple minutes. Now all I am left with is extreme embarrassment and deep regret. And then today to top it off. I looked in the mirror a little bit ago, and those “I thought the Dodos were extinct!”-people became frighteningly the group that I most resemble. That was from today. Stupid pen! Stupid hair tie! Dumb Me!!!

Annie, since you did it for Adriane, could you snap your fingers for me too? Please!

Insomnia? Or just plain weird?!

2005-05-18T14:46:00.000-06:00

INSOMNIA
Pronunciation: in-'säm-nE-&
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin, from insomnis sleepless, from in- + somnus sleep
: prolonged and usually abnormal inability to obtain adequate sleep
- in·som·ni·ac /-nE-"ak/ adjective or noun

An inability to sleep. Yep that is me. Wanna know what happened last night? It is rather scary: well, not really. Just for the dumb dodo brain that had to live through it.

It was late. The lights were out. No lurking figure from an infamous mafia stalked the apartment like the foggy gloom haunting Lancaster in the September morning chill. The abode left in silence, the weapon fully loaded and safely secured at a mere arm’s reach, I went to bed. Careful, silent, and listening. Two unknown shady characters walk at an unusual clip in the night, at an inconvenient hour. They clung to the shadows and escaped recognition.

I lay there in a sure haven, knowing that none could end my existence this night. Seconds ticked by with the hallow clanking of the Sterling & Nobel Alarm. The seconds culminate into minutes, upon minutes, upon….

No longer could I take such torture. The days of forced sleep should have fled from the many years previous. I arose and found guidance in the Conference Edition of the May 2005 Ensign. “Ah,” thought I, “a little heavenly message to sooth my troubled mind.”

I read “A Still, Small Voice and a Throbbing Heart,” by Bishop Richard C, Edgley. But I could not stop there. I continued to read, bolstered by the good word of the Lord for our modern day until I concluded President Hinckley’s talk, “The Great Things Which God Has Revealed.” One after the other, I read until the time read 5:00.

I forced myself back in between the covers. I lay thus for the space of one half hour. Then I thought about my calling and everything began to fit into some semblance of order. After writing it all down, and diagramming/outlining the rest of the school term, I tried yet again to sleep. I began thinking about various times in my life. Different experiences that I have had. Upon reflecting upon these reflections, I realized there was a common theme: they all included the same guy.

What went through my head? AHHH. That is what. No I do not “like” this guy. No I do not “fancy” this guy in any way. It just happened to be that freak coincidence. Truly, I am not lying in this case.

Disturbed at the guy thinking thing, I prepared myself for my day… mind you it is a quarter to seven in the morning. I don’t have class until 10. I did everything that I could thing of to do. I arranged my room, made my bed twice, redid my nails, tried four different hair do’s (ended up with a sorry looking pony tail). Read in The Book of Mormon, Das Buch Mormon, and Preach my Gospel. I wrote a letter (quite long and detailed…complete with four diagrams) to my sister in the MTC, strategize for later in the day, when it would be just and fair to enact upon others.

Then, at ten to 8 am, I received a call. Hanging up the receiver, I was tempted to cry. I withheld, however. As part of the Mafia, losses have to be taken and handled with stone heartedness. After the call I was afraid to venture from my bedroom, worried I was that some unwelcomed creature lie in wait for me in the kitchen, planning the most devious of deaths. I worked up the gusto though and walked to campus… well started to but then an angel of mercy decided that she did not want to see me dead ( I must look too awful alive to not want to see me dead).

Class was class. Only half of the students show up on a good day. Today was not a good day. After class I warily walked home. Every dozen steps or so I glanced over my shoulder to ensure that I wasn’t about to die. I made it to the apartment. I am yet alive!

The weirdest thing is that it feels that I have had a full 8 hours of sleep.

My World is an Oyster

2005-05-14T12:24:00.000-06:00

Life appears as a dreary existence of heartache and poignant misery when:
1.) Hours upon hours of dedicated work to a cause only renders the average benefits
2.) Your brother, young and impressionable, has a Xanga site that is entitled “Hopes and Dreams crushed… love hurts.”
3.) You cannot trust friends for the fear of ulterior plans, such as ending your life
4.) Sleep is evasive and won’t come softly in the night
5.) The only constant companion is an incessant headache

But even though those are dampening points in life (at least mine), I am strangely at peace in my little world. Although I spend myriads of time to devoted study for my Arabic class and can only get mediocre grades, I am thrilled with what I have learned and what lies ahead to be learned. While it may be depressing that my brother feels that there is little in his life that is worth the pain at this time, I am eternally grateful that he is willing to talk with me and share his thoughts with me. And although there is an air of distrust floating near at every waking moment, the need for allusiveness is thrilling. And although I have been averaging three and a half hours of sleep each night for the past week and a half, I am not fatigued to the point of mortal exhaustion. And although the only companion that is willing to stay with me through it all is a headache that ranges from a jack-hammer throb to a constant pain creeping from the neck upwards, it is alright because I know that I am blessed to know that pain is but a means of spiritual reminding.

Things are all right in my world. And for that, I am truly grateful and happy.

Lahalla In A Minor

2005-05-11T17:06:00.000-06:00

Lalla Laahla Lahhhla la al ala!
I am bor’da. Laddy dada!
Too mucha homework’ kaa!
Insane’aa I’ amma!
Lalla Laahla Laddy Daa.

Left Breathlessly Awed

2005-05-10T16:07:00.000-06:00

Today, after my class was over, my intermission for studying fulfilled, the dialogue appointment for Arabic successfully executed, and a slow, meandering walk home in a drizzly atmosphere, and after I had straightened the humble abode in which I dwell, I picked up the phone and dialed 9-1800-506-9511-46XX-85XX-39XX-701-282-72XX.

Twelve hundred miles away, my mother answered, her voice as clear as the gentle wind. At my home in far away North Dakota, in the southern corner of the state, outside the town called Fargo, in a nook of the Sheyenne River, in a two story pale blue house, in a large kitchen painted forest green with shimmering flecks of gold, the daycare children were making puzzles out of homemade drawings.

Amanda was inquisitive, Jacob was commanding, Alexandra was adorably sweet, Shandra was whimpering. Amy was humming, Adam was passing through, and Mom was reading a letter from Elizabeth. Elizabeth was relaying a story of gratitude for my mother. Ashley was rehearsing for her play. Daddy was working with a client.

And I was left in awe.

This truly is God’s Work and His Glory.
The Family.
My family.

"and its ONE, TWO, THREE Strikes you're out at the old Ballgame!"

2005-05-04T18:12:00.000-06:00

What is everyone up to this weekend? do you have a little time you could fit in to play with Maria? Wanna go to a baseball game? Please... (puppy eyes...pouty lip...slight tearing...)

Pweeese?

STRIKE TWO

2005-05-03T16:03:00.000-06:00

I am not one to be very biased against stores. They simply sell their items at varying prices with varying qualities. Sometimes I like to go to the further away stores because it provides an adequate excuse to drive longer. Other times I like to go to the store that is a moderate distance thence because of the layout which is aesthetically pleasing. And then there are the times that I like to go to the stores that are really close because I am short on time.

Fine, right? Yep. I think so.

But now…

There is a store that I am on the verge of refusing to ever step foot into again.

If it was the far away store…it definitely would be off my list.
If it was the aesthetically pleasing store…it most assuredly would be no more desirable.

But, because it is the really close one…

Have you guessed it yet?

Strike two against the store happened yesterday…around 6:45 p.m.

First the Peruvian Man

Then the Mexican Man

I refuse to let there be a third!

Not the Least Bit Intriguing

2005-05-02T17:45:00.000-06:00

So things have not been going so wonderfully for me in the past week or so. I could never contact the management for the Villa. I could never get a hold of the internet people (a. I kept dialing the wrong number & b. They were busy every time I dialed it correctly). I was not able to solve my roommate deficiency. My back has been doing spastic things to me. Yadda yadda ya.

But today. Here is what transpired.

12:00-3:00 am: tried to sleep, but was unable to
3:00: I drug myself out of my bed and worked on homework and reviewing
5:00: Went back to bed and was actually able to sleep.
9:00: Got ready for class & prayed really hard that things would work out soon
9:20: Walked to campus
10:00: Was confused, but was able to organize that confusion (Arabic does this to you)
12:00: Came back to the apartment
12:10: Went to the Villa’s office and actually caught them!
12:15: Went shopping
1:00: Copied the police report for the insurance company
1:30: Returned to the apartment and found a note on the floor
I was so excited… I thought it was Adriane or Annie
It was Lydia, my new roommate
2:00: Arabic homework
3:00: Arabic homework
4:00: Went to the Chiropractor
My back still hurts, but at least it is not pinching any nerves…nor is my neck.
5:00: Came back, drank some ginger beer, went to get the mail, briefly talked with Jon, and
started homework
5:30: Gave up on the homework and decided to write a blog…even though there is
nothing overly exciting in my life to share with ya’ll

I also have FHE tonight. In apartment 68, Ruth is my “mother”. So far she is a single mother. She told us yesterday that our family is dysfunctional from the get-go.

Hmm. I thought dysfunctional was spelt with an ‘I’ and not a ‘y.’

WANTED: NEW ROOMMATE

2005-04-15T15:04:00.000-06:00

A female, age 18, 5'11'', blonde, sophmore at BYU. Is tidy most of the time, likes to have fun, will need some solitude, not overly boisterous, no significant other to be bothered by, not greatly talented (you wont be intimidated)...

For references as to living conditions with afore stated female, contact Adriane, Annie, or Meagan.

Looking for: a female, easy going, somewhat tidy, studious- yet has fun at times, kind.

If interested in this position, or have insight to share about the person posting this bulletin, leave a comment on this blog.

Current Disposition

2005-04-07T13:24:00.000-06:00

Grr

Snap, Crackle...Pop

2005-04-04T22:48:00.000-06:00

Most of you know that Adriane and I were in a little accident about nine days ago. Well, as a result of that little bump to my car, Adriane and I have contracted whiplash. This, like a cold, plagues a pour soul until it has run its course. Sometimes, if the case is harsh enough…like the olden day whopping-cough, whiplash can cause great tribulation the rest of one’s life. Where the cold can be remedied through the application of various medicines, whiplash can be treated with sessions of chiropractic treatment. Hence, Adriane and I have and will be frequenting him quite often.

With that in mind I thought to share a few of my ‘favorite’ things about the trips to the chiro…
1. The security one has while on the chiropractic bench even when leaning off the edge while the chiropractor is trying to get the leg and hip to realign.
2. Spending five minutes in confusion while both the chiropractor and oneself try to get the reflexes to work…even the slightest bit.
3. The uncanny ability to get a person to laugh from tickling…even if that person had not laughed from that practice for multiple years.
4. Being able to rest so peacefully while your head is securely placed in the head rest.
5. Having two lovely ovular shapes on your forehead after getting out of the position of number three.
6. Being able to go through an ultrasound before there is even the slightest possibility of pregnancy.
7. Once the session of number five is over, getting up and falling over. Then walking to the car whilst your roommate mocks you for your inebriated-like state.
8. The rest of the day hearing bones and cartilage and vertebrae snapping, cracking, and popping… and feeling absolutely sore from the experience.
9. Then during the day or so in between appointments, wishing fervently for the time to come so that you can feel better and be slightly more nimble than the cardboard cutout agility.

Despite what you may conclude from my list, the chiro. is amazing and extremely helpful.

A Hint for Perspicacity

2005-03-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

I have been misunderstood a lot lately, probably because oft times I would rather not communicate with others… so I thought to ease the contemplative brooding of all who are out there concerned at my current behavior, I would outline a few clues to my actual self:

Silence is Golden. I do not like to talk a lot. The thoughts that I have I most often want to keep to myself. Others, in my opinion, do not need to know what is going on inside of my brain. If they did need to know, then I am assured in my mind that the Creator would have made necessary means for telekinetics. My silence does NOT mean that I am upset with you or mad about something or another.

True Meaning. When I am talking to others, I usually do not say things the way that I see them exactly. For instance, when I am questioned about my day, I will either tell it to be better than it was, or worse. Normally I like to give a pat answer that it was fine…and I appreciate it when people accept that answer without interrogation. When I am asked about a guy, I will most assuredly am telling the truth when I say that he is nice, but I am not interested. When I am saying that I like him… or of that sort… it is usually because I am sick of being asked who I like (hence, I give in and pick a random guy to “like”).

Oddness to Extremity. I like to be different. I do not like to be cast into the same mold as everyone else on the planet. I like various things, so I will engage in those various things…even if they are considered weird and off-kilter. I am NOT trying to make a statement.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness. True, I like to have things clean. False, I am not a cleanliness freak. When I clean something, it is not because I am sick of the mess generally, more likely the reason behind my cleaning is because I am thinking, and when that occurs (yes… it is very seldom) I like to be making use of my hands as well and have discovered that cleaning is a very good combination to thinking.

Hopefully this will help you discern my intent. But do not try to read to far into things, ‘casue you’ll likely miss the mark. Anyway… I am sorry if I have offended you because of my mannerisms. Please forgive.

to them i say BLAH!

2005-03-24T12:54:00.000-07:00

The simplicity matters of life are rather complex. Rather, what should be simple has been made to be very complex and confusing. Why is this? It is because everybody messes up and makes it as such. Like introductions are complex matters because weirdo psychiatrists have made “studies” that allow people to look beyond what truly should matter. Here are a few instances:

1. Two individuals meet at a BYU football game. They are sitting in one of the multiple student sections and during a brief commercial break, when the purple pants man is standing on the field, a guy turns to the girl beside him (unknown to him before the game) and talks with her. They hit it off fairly well. Then the game resumes. The girl, smitten with this gentleman, tries to carry on various conversations with him, only he wont look her in the eye and only answered in short and brief responses that barely filled the full question. She leaves with her roommates terribly distraught that he was so uncommittal. She later explains to her roommates that he didn’t even keep eye contact; there must be something that he was unwilling to share!
2. A male student spent a long night doing homework and the next day was fighting hard not to fall asleep in one of his classes. The girl that sat behind him noticed and noted it in the back of her mind. A few days later, the guy is sitting next to the girl and at the end of class asks if she would like to do something that upcoming weekend. She replies that she would rather not. She expounds upon it by saying that she really did not want to get involved with someone who was irresponsible.
3. A female BYU student woke up ten minutes after her first class had begun, so she grabbed the first thing she found… which happened to be the same shirt she wore the day before, and threw her hair into a messy bun and ran out the door. She got to class a few minutes later, looking disheveled, but there. The guy that she had been flirting with for a week noticed and was rather disgusted that she wore the same shirt. He quit flirting with her, because of her apparent lack of hygiene
4. In the BYU library, a young woman is studying at a table. She is in the process of revising a paper for the millionth time and has red highlighted areas peppered through out-simply because she does not like the wording or the innotation of the writing. The area she is studying is fairly full. A guy walks in and looks for a place to sit. The girl with the peppered-red paper is sitting at a table by herself, so the guy decides to sit there as well. He sits on the same side as her, and stretches out his hand to her. She, while raising an eyebrow, shakes it. Meanwhile the man whispers what his name is and states that he is junior in the college of humanities. She smiles politely, but is thinking to herself that she would really like it if she could remember the word that seemed to fit perfectly before he showed up. He continued on and inquired as to her name. She replied. Coaxing more information out of her, he asks what she is studying, her college status, her age, and a few other things. She answers the questions fully, but rather briefly…she really wanted to get back to her paper. This guy says, noting her lack of verbose answers, “Well, then.”

In innocent misunderstanding, she asks, “What?”

“Since you asked I will tell you. You are not a very friendly person. First your handshake should have been enough to let me know. But then you refused to answer my questions. I hope you have a nice night. I am going to go find somewhere else to study.”

And he left the girl slightly confused by what happened.

_____
So why do these things happen? Because a person somewhere in the world…Sigmund Freud perhaps…decided that life was too simple the way people just accepted slip ups or odd idiosyncrasies. I say, “Blah,” to them all!

Reflection of Inner Disunity

2005-03-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

Things are great in life when one is able to go to sleep knowing that all homework that is due the following morn is done. Unfortunately, that state of euphoria is severely lacking in my life. Nope, I have so great a burden of homework that it makes the climb of Reinhold Mesner look infinitesimal in comparison.
Things are great in life when one is able to walk out the door feeling as if the world is going to stop its habitual rotation because it is caught in stunned awe at the beauty of oneself. Unfortunately (maybe it should be fortunately), that state of confidence is MIA when it roles around to me.
Guys, just a hint for you: Do not cat-call a girl on a day that she is not feeling even the slightest bit on the pretty side of the mirror…I understand that it is hard to discern when that is so, when in doubt forgo the whistle.
Things are great in life when one is able to take time to write a few contemplations without feeling guilty of wasting precious time. Unfortunately, I feel as if every second that I am spending writing this blog or in my journal is a tic-mark off of my ‘salvation record.’ I am sure that Dante would have me quickly signed away to be in the outer circles of the Inferno.

The Peruvian Man

2005-03-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

The Peruvian Man
A Novella

Life on the wondrous Earth that our Brother created for us in the name of the Father is interesting because of the interaction between each individual. A child is born, raised, and then goes off to discover himself/herself in a way that is seemingly befitting. Such is the case with my roommates and me.

I was born to wonderful parents who care for me greatly, they raised me while gaining wisdom, and then I set off for a university that has been dubbed as ‘The Lord’s University’ (I cannot attest that to be entirely accurate). It is here in Provo, UT that I met the girls with whom I now reside. We have done a lot together, and on the ninth of October in the year of our Lord 2004, we embarked upon a grand adventure. Unbeknownst to us, this adventure would lay a foundation of laughter and delight for months to come.

We left our humble abode around noon, meandered to the Black Beauty, and pilled in as we hurried off as a thundering herd of stags incessant on a refreshing run of freedom. These wondrous girls and I cautiously navigated the bustling streets to a few blocks down, where we found our destination sitting serenely against the mountainous backdrop for which Utah is famous: Smith’s.

All four of us tumbled out of the car and walked with dignity into the store, grabbed a shopping cart, and proceeded forth with lists in one hand and determination in our eyes. We soon realized that it was going to be impossible to fit all of our purchases in one cart so I ran back to the front to get a second. Meagan and Adriane shared the first, Annie and I the second. Due to the variety of each one of our lists, we decided to split for a time. Meagan and I had a common need to find pasta sauce. We left Annie and Adriane to their own intuition and progressed to the aisle marked as Pasta and Sauce.

Meagan and I were in the midst of an in-depth scrutinization of the various merits that the assorted sauces entailed, when to our astonishment, a man- stout, sweaty, and clad in rumpled clothing- sashayed up to us and poked me on the shoulder. Then with all the suave mannerism he could muster, he waved ‘Hi.’ I smiled and returned the salutation. Then he walked on with a smile splitting his face.

I leaned in toward Meagan and whispered, “I think he works with Antonio.” We continued our business about choosing a sauce. After about thirty seconds of further deliberation, I settled for Ragu with onions and green peppers. I do not recall what Meagan had selected. We placed the items in the cart and had scarcely walked a meager two dozen steps, when to our surprise, the Peruvian man returned. This is what ensued:

In greatly broken English he stated, “You are really cute. Yeah. Your face. Yes. Your hair is cute.”
I was bright red at this point, I assure you.

He turned to Meagan and said, “She is cute, yeah?” While Meagan was suppressing an incontrollable urge to laugh hysterically and nodding her consent, the guy turned to me and asked, “So do you have…. what’s de word? Umm…umm…dates? Yeah dates?”

I, believing that he was inquiring simply because of my welfare like Antonio does, answered, “No. Can’t say that I have been busy with those. Nope, not at all.”

He smiled and then told me again that I am cute. Then he said, “Do you have a, um, a…phone number? So we could be friends, yes?”

Bewildered and not sure of what to do I said, “Yes.” He gave me a piece of paper and I wrote down my number. He left with a triumphant smile on his face, leaving me with a sickening dread. As soon as he was out of sight, Meagan guffawed. I started in with my moans of terror. I made Meagan swear not to say another word until we were in the car.

Against all of my hopeful wishing, he called four days later.

For chapter two of this novella, please visit Meagan’s blog: http://perfectsyzygy.blogspot.com

Technical Difficulties: Liar!

2005-03-12T12:02:00.000-07:00

This is not the English language channel for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints… I am experiencing technical difficulties… please call the number located in your operating manual now.

This technical difficulty which I am experiencing is communication with others. You see, I have a terrible habit: lying to add spice to conversation. All my life this has not been a problem for me and those with whom I associated. All understood when I was adding intrigue and when I was simply stating facts as I saw them to be. Then came a day when I moved to Utah, a place peppered with its own unique beauty.

Now, the difficulty comes into effect with those who live here. For you see, these wonderful individuals cannot discern what is fabrication and what is factual when I speak. For example, here is a clip from an IM conversation with one of these people:

talking about a topic of extreeme embarassment for one of the parties invloved:
Sleepy in Provo says:
lol
Sleepy in Provo says:
why?
sukoon says:
i am curious
Sleepy in Provo says:
which would you rather we do?
sukoon says:
it is up ta you...
Sleepy in Provo says:
lol
Sleepy in Provo says:
I know
Sleepy in Provo says:
but since you are so interested, I was wondering if you had a preference
sukoon says:
what ever are talking about, i have said scarcely three words concerning the matter
Sleepy in Provo says:
liar

Now, this is a mild case. Just today I have been chastised for my lying thrice. So… I have concluded that I must go for at least a full day without lying once. It will be a challenge and if you happen to be around me for this 24+ hour period, you may notice that I am lacking in spice and creativity… even though I normally have a minimum of that anyway…
(italics added for emphasis)

with His guidance

2005-03-11T14:47:00.000-07:00

"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Apparently I am lacking in all aspects of the above. I surely am far removed from the beautiful maiden of Serenity. I lack the courage or the fortitude to change slight misfortunes. I am drowning in a black hole void of wisdom. Indubitably I need to realign my sights to look over the sea of tormentuous burdens and set my eyes upon the beckoning light of my Brother- only He will help me conquer the three elements of the quote.

To Sleep or not to Sleep

2005-03-09T14:57:00.000-07:00

To sleep, or not to sleep: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous homework,
Or to take arms against a sea of professors,
And by opposing end them? To fail: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural assignments
That students are heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal work,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the tests and papers of time,
The professor's wrong, the teachers assitant's contumely,
The pangs of despised work, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quiet us make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary tasks,
But that the dread of something after school,
The undiscover'd university from whose bourn
No student returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The rash one! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my work remember'd.

The Essence of the Presence of Males

2005-03-05T02:40:00.000-07:00

I live in an apartment with wondrous girls… previously described and explained. Now they do a variety of things on their own and together, which is commendable and appreciated. Most things I leave to them, but after a while I begin to bend as if I were a weeping willow finally producing enough leaves to weigh down my wispy branches. For instance: all three of them, Annie, Meagan, and Adriane have guys posted on their computer- either as a background, screensaver, or both. I felt as if I was missing the vitality of life by not having a guy to amorously welcome me every time I logged onto my computer. I have taken care of this previous negligence of mine, and now have Mario Frangoulis as by background screen. Now, I chose him (like Annie chose Josh) because he is an amazing singer and is not terribly wanting for looks to turn heads. I did not choose him because he acted in the movie “Troy.” I mostly like his voice.

Roomming With Disney Princesses

2005-03-03T14:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally have the ability to overcome technological impairments that I bear (not proudly might I add). I learned, thanks to the help of a lovely roommate, Adriane. Speaking of lovely roommates, I have the greatest. Not only are they entirely intent on making the world a brighter, blissful place, but they fit so nicely into Disney Princess personifications. Let me elaborate:

Annie
We all know and love the tale of the Cinderella. You see, this tale was fashioned after the pulchritudinous Annie. Although she is not dressed in rags and scrubs floors daily, she has to deal with messy apartment messes and where Cinderella has very poor family relations, Annie has roommates that probably don’t live up to par…well at least one of them doesn’t (the young one). Not only is Cinderella a wondrous singer, but Annie can sing as she plays becoming sonnets upon the ivory keys. She is waiting for her fair prince to dance with her in splendid harmony, but knows that the clock will ding and pumpkin time arrives. But she rests assured for she knows that he is out there searching for the maiden of his dreams!

Adriane
Melodious Adriane is quite simply a perfect match with Aurora, aka Sleeping Beauty. Aurora is brought to a diminutive shack to be reared: Adriane moved to la’Villa. While asleep both look as if they are dolls carved to perfection. Aurora’s voice is nice, but it drastically pales in comparison to Adriane’s. Sleeping Beauty is discovered by her prince while she sings a morning melody to nature. This is very plausible in the life of Adriane because her life is a musical. As Aurora endured, so might Adriane be compelled to do as she waits for her true love.

Meagan
The fair and exquisite Meagan is Belle. Hair of splendid brunette, both Belle and Meagan lived in the European region of the world (true they had the location wrong for Belle… to have been accurate it should have been England). Meagan loves her father greatly and enjoys the daring tales found within the accumulation of words in between two covers. She is a while without her prince, and even when she meets him, it takes time for the love to develop. Yet she comes out in the end with a handsome prince with even a greater heart!

So that was my rather unsystematic, weird thought of the day… what did you think you were getting from a blog entitled “cogito: discourses of inner reflection”?